Rodeo Giggles

So, J and I went to the rodeo to see Maroon 5. There were, as always, a myriad of fashion mistakes to critique. Really, what’s the point in going out amongst the lumpy proles if you’re not going to mock them? Fashion rule number one for Houston, Texas: cover your flab, lardass. Nobody wants to see your fat rolls. Violations of this rule were plentiful, as they are in all public situations these days. I will skip further mockery of the fans and instead concentrate on the band.

I’ll preface this by saying they put on a decent show. Lots of energy, they seemed to be having fun on stage, and they connected well with the audience. They need to find a better sound guy, though, because the lead vocals were so buried in the mix for most of the show it wasn’t funny. If you didn’t know the words, you wouldn’t have been able to understand them.

Anyhow, lead singer child thinks his band rocks a lot more than it really does. Maroon 5 makes good pop songs. They will not be asked on a Monsters of Rock tour ever, okay? So, you trying to do the whole guitar player rock star thing just doesn’t work. It’s not really your gig. Similarly, I appreciate the desperate desire of the bass player to retain some small shard of street cred, even if it’s only in his own eyes. However, wearing a Slayer t-shirt on stage just ain’t gonna cut it. You’re playing bass for a band where the vast majority of fans are squealing teenage girls. It’s a little difficult to maintain the pose as a hardcore rivethead, no matter how true it may be. You should probably stop trying.

Having said all that, I found the finale to be a good cover of a great song. I’m thinking Highway to Hell probably doesn’t resonate with the demographic, though.


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