Back Off My Sandwich, Biatch

So, Michelle Obama has taken it upon herself to lecture us about what we should be doing about food. As the LA Times so snarkily points out, perhaps she needs to get her husband to give up the cigs before she nags us about what we're having for lunch. Since that's apparently too difficult, maybe she needs to have an ass that's NOT the size of two adult females before whining about obesity.

I think I'm just going to cherry pick stupid statements.

Together we have to do more.

Well, actually, unless she has a mouse in her pocket, "we" don't have to "do" a damn thing. What I choose to eat is about as much her business as how big her ass looks in any dress is mine. In other words, it's not. It's also not her business what restaurants offer on their menus. If she doesn't like their menu choices, she shouldn't eat there. If she wants a restaurant that offers healthy kid-friendly options, she should borrow some money from Tony Rezko and start one. If she thinks she's smarter than the rest of us and should dictate our food choices, she should piss right the fuck off with the quickness.

As a mom, I know it is my responsibility, and no one else’s, to raise my kids.

Well, then, get after it! What the hell is she doing bitching about the right menu choices? Go raise the sprogs! Oh, wait, she doesn't believe all the lumpy proles have the same responsibility? Or does she think they're too stupid? I'm betting on the latter, because, as she says:

many parents are finding their best efforts undermined by an avalanche of advertisements aimed at our kids

Unless your kids came into the world with their own debit cards and checking accounts, Mommy and Daddy still make the purchasing decisions. Advertisements don't change that. If the parental units can't say no to the precious little snowflakes about a Chicken McNugget, they're all gonna have much bigger problems in life later on.

Oh, wait, here's another gem.

I’ve yet to meet a single parent who’s not eager to buy healthier products. They just need more information. They need easier access to those products.

Bitch, please. They have posters in the grocery store telling you how eating vegetables is good for you. The TV set has been pumping out eat healthy propaganda my entire life, and it was even aimed at kids! Somebody wants to know which choice is healthier? They have these neat labels on everything in the freaking store. And parents need more information? And easier access? Double you tee eff, Michelle? There's a big section in every grocery store I've set foot in that has all kinds of vegetable and produce. Admittedly, sometimes it was the freezer section, but still. How could she and some linty rodent possibly make that easier? Hand deliver the food?

Oh, wait, I forgot. We're talking about restaurants. Here's an easy one: stay home. Or better yet, quit trying to interfere in people's choices. Last time I checked, I had a mother and don't need Michelle Obama to try and take the job.

Of course, she's just a private citizen and isn't using the hammer of the state, right? Well, her and her pocket mouse have been busy.

It’s not enough just to limit ads for foods that aren’t healthy.

And we’ve started by requiring chain restaurants to provide calorie counts on their menus and menu boards.

we’re working with mayors and other local officials to make our cities and towns healthier

Yeah, that sounds like the state to me. Maybe I missed something in all the pertrouserating she was doing about how this is all voluntary. Right up until it's not, like calorie counts.

Seriously, is there any domain of modern life that some useless meatbag doesn't feel compelled to have the .gov stick their nose into?