PetFlow: Pet Food Delivered on Your Schedule

So, I'm the resident dog food freak. I get it...crazy, but my dogs definitely have better nutrition than I do. If I look at a food or treat ingredient list, and don't see words that look like the type of food that you or I would buy at the grocery store (e.g. duck, chicken, rabbit, potato, carrot), my dogs aren't getting it from me.

I got my first Westie from a backyard breeder, and as most Westies not professionally bred, she had every allergy in the book. Food allergies are one of the worst, because as anyone who has a dog with food allergies knows, you'll find a food that works, then after a couple of years of smooth going, suddenly, the scratching, the chewing, and out comes all the hair.

I had to educate myself about canine nutrition out of necessity, and luckily, my vet at the time was a fantastic resource. After I had exhausted about everything out there, he suggested that I try the old BARF diet. As unappetizing as it sounds, for us it worked, and I became a true believer. About every 6 or so weeks, I'd take a Sunday, grind meat, fruit, veggies, offal, and all the other ingredients, and freeze enough single portions of food to last her. As a result, all of her skin problems, ear problems, scratching, and misery were gone for the remainder of her life.

We have very healthy youngsters, but now that our dog to human ratio is 2.5:1, home making dog food is a little overwhelming. If time and money were no object, I would probably continue to make the raw diet at home like I did for so many years. But you know, with a full time job and 5 times the mouths to feed, for us, it just isn't feasible. Plus, food selection is different than it used to be, and honestly, there are a lot of great and convenient options. We use biologically appropriate raw kibble, but I still make treats at home.

So, because we have to buy about 60 pounds of dog food every 6 or so weeks, we're trying out this service called PetFlow. The idea is that you can set up food delivery on whatever schedule you choose, and PetFlow automatically ships the grub. The service is available for dogs or cats. There are no commitments and you can change the service at any time. It's kind of like the book of the month club, except it's dog food, and you've told them exactly what you want and how often.

They carry a very comprehensive variety of food, and surprisingly carried pretty much everything we use. As far as price, it was about a wash for us. We blend food because I like a large variety of protein sources, and a couple of the bags were $2 or so less and one was $2 or so more. The shipping is flat rate, $4.95 regardless of quantity, although signing up today got me a free shipping deal, but the absence of sales tax did cut the price back down to slightly cheaper than what I'd buy in the store.

One of the most attractive aspects of it for me though is the fact that we don't have to make special trips out to haul the 60 or so pounds of food from the shop to the car, and from the car to the house. I believe this will be a huge time and energy saver for us. I have learned that a lot of people don't place that huge a premium on their time, but we have no choice, and having dog food show up on my door on a regular schedule should be a huge convenience. I'm pretty happy about the find, but if it sucks, I'll let you know.

Back Off My Sandwich, Biatch

So, Michelle Obama has taken it upon herself to lecture us about what we should be doing about food. As the LA Times so snarkily points out, perhaps she needs to get her husband to give up the cigs before she nags us about what we're having for lunch. Since that's apparently too difficult, maybe she needs to have an ass that's NOT the size of two adult females before whining about obesity.

I think I'm just going to cherry pick stupid statements.

Together we have to do more.

Well, actually, unless she has a mouse in her pocket, "we" don't have to "do" a damn thing. What I choose to eat is about as much her business as how big her ass looks in any dress is mine. In other words, it's not. It's also not her business what restaurants offer on their menus. If she doesn't like their menu choices, she shouldn't eat there. If she wants a restaurant that offers healthy kid-friendly options, she should borrow some money from Tony Rezko and start one. If she thinks she's smarter than the rest of us and should dictate our food choices, she should piss right the fuck off with the quickness.

As a mom, I know it is my responsibility, and no one else’s, to raise my kids.

Well, then, get after it! What the hell is she doing bitching about the right menu choices? Go raise the sprogs! Oh, wait, she doesn't believe all the lumpy proles have the same responsibility? Or does she think they're too stupid? I'm betting on the latter, because, as she says:

many parents are finding their best efforts undermined by an avalanche of advertisements aimed at our kids

Unless your kids came into the world with their own debit cards and checking accounts, Mommy and Daddy still make the purchasing decisions. Advertisements don't change that. If the parental units can't say no to the precious little snowflakes about a Chicken McNugget, they're all gonna have much bigger problems in life later on.

Oh, wait, here's another gem.

I’ve yet to meet a single parent who’s not eager to buy healthier products. They just need more information. They need easier access to those products.

Bitch, please. They have posters in the grocery store telling you how eating vegetables is good for you. The TV set has been pumping out eat healthy propaganda my entire life, and it was even aimed at kids! Somebody wants to know which choice is healthier? They have these neat labels on everything in the freaking store. And parents need more information? And easier access? Double you tee eff, Michelle? There's a big section in every grocery store I've set foot in that has all kinds of vegetable and produce. Admittedly, sometimes it was the freezer section, but still. How could she and some linty rodent possibly make that easier? Hand deliver the food?

Oh, wait, I forgot. We're talking about restaurants. Here's an easy one: stay home. Or better yet, quit trying to interfere in people's choices. Last time I checked, I had a mother and don't need Michelle Obama to try and take the job.

Of course, she's just a private citizen and isn't using the hammer of the state, right? Well, her and her pocket mouse have been busy.

It’s not enough just to limit ads for foods that aren’t healthy.

And we’ve started by requiring chain restaurants to provide calorie counts on their menus and menu boards.

we’re working with mayors and other local officials to make our cities and towns healthier

Yeah, that sounds like the state to me. Maybe I missed something in all the pertrouserating she was doing about how this is all voluntary. Right up until it's not, like calorie counts.

Seriously, is there any domain of modern life that some useless meatbag doesn't feel compelled to have the .gov stick their nose into?

Late and The Pot

So, yesterday was National Airborne Day. I simply neglected to mention it, as I was drinking Jack & Cokes much like I did when I was a young paratrooper. Unlike that time, I stopped after two. Anyhow, fire up the Wayback Machine, set it for yesterday, and say something nice to anyone you know who threw themselves from an aircraft in flight for the benefit of the US military. A drink might not be amiss, either.

Now that I have once again demonstrated conclusively that I am a lazy bastard, (I mean seriously, I couldn't get off my dead ass and post three sentences about National Airborne day yesterday? Slacker. How on earth did I ever finish, well, anything?) , let's move on to today's topic: rice. Roger Ebert wrote a post some time ago on the glories of using a rice cooker for rice and so much more. There is a subset of the populace, to which Roger apparently belongs, which thinks a rice cooker is some magical creation that can cook everything under the sun. I don't have any serious argument with this on the face of things, except maybe the magic part. A rice cooker is not complicated. At the most basic form it's a heater, a pot, and a thermostat. It works thusly: heat pot until temperature in pot rises past 212 degrees F, then turn heat off (or down). Not much magic involved. Basically, though, it's pot with a built-in heating element. I'm sure you can do lots of things with this, just like you can with a crock pot.

I don't have any personal experience with a rice cooker for one simple reason: I can cook rice. I don't see much need for a dedicated appliance, even if can do all the wonderful things Roger claims. I've failed at rice once in recent memory, and that was trying to cook rice for 100. That didn't go so well, but I don't think a rice cooker would have helped. The quantities got a bit too large, and scaling took over with a vengeance. Other than that, though, it's not usually difficult. Pot, rice, water, boil, turn down, simmer 25 minutes, serve. It's worked pretty well for me for a number of years now, and only requires minor tweaking for the stovetop involved.

I'm currently trying to scale back the number of things in my house, not add more. So no matter how useful Mr. Ebert thinks a rice cooker is, it ain't going on the wish list any time soon.

Think Happy Thoughts

So, I'm trying to keep my mind off of the disaster the donks foisted off on an unsuspecting public last night. It gets me a bit peevish and irritable, which is never good on a Monday morning. Here's what I'm reading that has absolutely nothing to do with monstrously bad policies and blatantly unconstitutional power grabs by a pack of syphilitic dog-felching statist bastards.

Ahem. Anyhow, I have been amused lately by Nairn and his attempts to learn the art of cookery through random items chosen from BBC cookbooks. It strikes me as akin to learning by using a Time-Life series. If you're like me, and have more cookbooks than you can work through in your lifetime with his methods, you might find it especially amusing. Good fun, albeit very British at times.

I've also been browsing Morbid Fashion and The Courtesan Macabre. Lots of shiny pretty pictures of pretty things, useful for not thinking too hard. Not always as pretty, but still cool is the collection of things showcased at Street Anatomy.

When I can post with it being a transcription of someone with Tourette's, we'll get back to health care reform.

Lunchtime!

Pages of gloriously insane food. I am gobsmacked at the utter craziness of the concept and the painstaking execution.

I'm guessing people wasted their time in equally absurd ways before the Internet, but just couldn't show the results off to everyone.

Cheap Sous Vide, Part 2

So, I’ve been contemplating this fine piece of gadgetry know as a thermal circulator. All the popular chefs are using them for sous vide. They, are, as I mentioned earlier, ludicrously expensive for an apparatus which may not be useful to me. The obvious answer is to see if one is available cheaper used. The cheapest used one I could find was about $600, which is still prohibitively expensive.

So, let’s use some of this high-powered engineering education and experience I’ve spent all these years acquiring. Our desired device has one singular function in life: maintain a water bath at a precise temperature. So, we need some way to heat the water and some way to control the heat. If we control the heat, we control the temperature.

So, how do the bright boys who make these things do it? A quick look at an existing model reveals an immersion heating element, some kind of control system, and a pump to smooth out any gradients. All right, that looks pretty straightforward.

Hmm. Let’s cruise some odd back corners of the Internet. A 2500 watt immersion heater element for $2.95! That just might work. If I do some back of the envelope calculations*, I figure I need about 200W to maintain a temperature of 140°F compensating for convective and radiative heat loss. I’m ignoring conduction since we shouldn’t be touching much with our pot. Hmm what do I get from a 277V element if I run it at 120V? Damn, now I have to remember my sparky equations, or at least look them up. So, scribbling furiously on the same envelope after consulting references, I get about 470 watts from my chosen element.** A little bit more math and the heater should get 10 liters of water hot enough in about 50 minutes. Screw that, I’m impatient. We’ll run two in parallel and heat the water up twice as fast. Oh, wait, how much current is that gonna draw, anyway? 8 amps? Fine, we can easily pull 8A on a household circuit.

Right. That’s the heating. Let’s see what is available for a control system. Now, those of you unacquainted with industrial process controls may be unaware of a device known as a temperature controller. It’s a pretty little pre-engineered box that requires a power source and a temperature sensor to work. You hook everything up and enter a desired temperature in your controller. The controller then checks the temperature sensor against your desired temperature and based on the result either switches something on, or switches something off. In our case, we want the switch to come on when the sensor temp reads low, and go off when the temperature sensor reads high. This is the default configuration for most controllers. So, where do we find a temperature controller? I started off at Omega, since they make everything under the sun for temperature measurement and control. But, as befits many industrial suppliers, they are expensive. So, screw it. We’re off to eBay. Look at that! Temperature controllers out the wazoo! Hmm. We are trying to do this cheaply, but with some assurances it’ll actually work. Let’s skip used equipment and focus on new parts. I can get a temperature controller with included thermocouple for $31.95 plus shipping. Hell, yeah.

Okay, here’s a snag. The max current we can pull with the relay circuit in the controller is 3A. As we know from doing our quick and dubious math, we need about 8 amps. So the included relay ain’t gonna work. Shit. However, our controller also has a DC trigger out. The controller puts out some voltage for the on state and drops to nothing for the off state. Let’s see, 8V out. That will drive a solid state relay quite nicely, won’t it? Well, hell, we’re already at eBay in another window. How much for an SSR? $8.99 for a 25A relay that triggers off 3-32 VDC. The price even includes shipping from some Chinese factory town. Sweet!

Now, we need a box to hold our controller, relay, and associated wiring in. I found yet another score on eBay: a PVC enclosure with aluminum back plate already installed for $25. Slightly used, but since it’s just a box to hold parts, I can live with that. Since we’ve got the back plate in the enclosure, we can dispense with a separate heat sink for the SSR.

So let’s see, we’ve got the heating elements, a way to control them, and a box to hold stuff. Are we missing anything? Oh, yeah, a pump. Well, I’ve got to go by the pet store and pick up some turtle supplies. I’ll see what’s available in the way of a pump and get back to you guys when the parts get here.

* Actually done in MathCad. If anybody wants to see the math, let me know.

**I did all the electrical calcs as straight DC, since an immersion heater is as close to a purely resistive load as uou're going to find in an AC circuit. Sloppy, yes, but I'm not an EE.

Cheap Sous Vide, Part 1

So, I mentioned I got Under Pressure recently. I have been reading it, and I will freely admit I'm both intrigued and intimidated. The intimidation comes from two somewhat related issues. This is a book for foodies and professional chefs. The recipes are technically demanding, have absurd ingredient lists, almost requires a brigade de cuisine, and some specialized equipment. I'm fine with the first two. I can either do it, or I'll take a swing at it and fail spectacularly. Ingredients are readily available in a town with 4 million people. The last two are more an issue.

This is what I refer to as sous-chef cooking at it's finest. WTF does Keller care that it takes 200 steps and 7 people to do it? He's got staff. Me? I have J and a dog, only one of whom actually wants to be in the kitchen when I'm doing serious cooking. The dog has figured out I'm clumsy and drop things that are occasionally tasty. J has figured out out other people get in my way and make even more peevish and irascible than normal. Needless to say, this cuts down on the amount of prep work that can be done for any single recipe if it's all going to be eaten at the same time. I have learned to accept this limitation and work around it. I do a fair amount of mise en place and bastardize recipes to get where I need to go.

The specialized equipment, however, would appear to be a deal breaker. Sous vide needs a vacuum packer and an immersion circulator. I'm thinking my cheap FoodSaver will work for the vacuum packing aspect, even though Keller insists they aren't adequate. Maybe not for what he's doing, but I figure it'll work for me. The immersion circulator, though? That's kind of a bitch. A cheap one runs about $900 new, and you don't get much of a discount for buying used. That strikes me as a little much for experimentation. What to do, what to do?

Hey, wait a minute. I'm an engineer. I can figure this out...

Weekend Fun

So, in my slovenly and slothful blogging habits, I have neglected some recent events. Most recent was the Friday night ruckus at the new, improved, statelier YPS Manor. Dog V2.0 came nose to nose with one of these. Yes, a 1 pound snake versus a 20 pound dog. This ended in a draw. Had the referees allowed the match to continue, I'm not sure who would have taken the title. Dog is bigger and theoretically more capable, but has no concept of actual physical agression. He is completely baffled when other canines respond to him agressively, so I'm sure the snake confused him as well. Instead, we separated the combatants and relocated the snake with the help of a pair of welding gloves, a plastic box, and a short trip to the vacant lot behind the new subdivision.

I picked up Thomas Keller's Under Pressure a week or two ago. It has a somewhat singular distinction of being the only cookbook I've purchased recently that has made me feel dumb. I don't have any formal culinary training, but I read a lot of cookbooks. Keller's book is the only one where on average, once a recipe, I find myself going "WTF is that?" in regard to some ingredient, technique, or equipment. I don't know how quickly I will be able to utilize any of the techniques for sous-vide in the book, but it's fascinating nonetheless.

My Brain Is Hurting

There's lots to read and digest as I awaiting the coming apocalypse, zombie or otherwise. The Congress is going mad, passing out money to various and sundry groups like they actually have some to give. Obama is picking an all-star staff of ignuts to fill his cabinet, and looks to be in the process of cementing the worst policy trends of both the Bush and Clinton administrations in the process. Corruption and dynastic politics runs rampant as senatorial replacements are contemplated. I could comment substantively, but my head already hurts today. I'm thinking of standing on a street corner wearing an End Is Nigh sign, but that won't pay the bills.

Fuck it, here's some random nonsense percolating though my head.

I'm sure she's a very nice lady, but "Christy Chesterton" just sounds like a stripper or a porn star name. I think it's the alliteration and the chest reference.

Spork.

Vilsack as Ag Secretary? Forget about ever getting rid of corn/ethanol subsidies.

Somebody pull back and nuke the Kennedy compound from orbit. It's the only way to be sure we never get another one of those people in public office again.

I want a bailout. I pay my bills on time and I have no great problems, but I'm sure, if you give me a few minutes, I can come up with a reason why I deserve great huge piles of cash forcefully extracted from my neighbors and funneled through a bunch of dipshits in Washington. So far the compelling rationale seems to be "Life is hard! We made bad decisions! Give us money!" Apparently trying not to become the poster child for consumer bankruptcy was a poor decision, as it doesn't allow me to sponge off the rest of you saps.

Bar food at home. Eat up, and have a drink while you're at it.

LaRouchies were out at the last gun show I attended. I'm not sure why they think a gun show is a good place to recruit.

Meh. I'm out.

Not Acceptable

No matter what you vegetarians may think, there is no substitute for a turducken. While I am prone to making snide comments like "Vegetables aren't food, vegetables are what food eats", there is a larger fundamental issue here besides my desire to mock those lower on the food chain.

Your food should be honest. Trying to tart up vegetables into being something that almost, but not really, resembles meat is a disservice to both the vegetable and the diner. Celebrate your food for what it is, not what somebody wishes it could be. Part of the reason many people think vegetarian food is crap is because of the attempts to make some bizarro meatish thing for non-vegetarians. Well, that and an over-reliance on tofu. Despite what you may have been led to believe, a vegetable-based drywall mud is unappetizing.

Besides, all the strange attempts to make meat-like things from textured mycoprotein and soybean paste always taste weird. And tofurkey is an abomination to all, mmkay?

The Problem With Vegans

My problem with Vegans can be rather neatly summed up by one phrase. I can live with the often tendentious moralizing, albeit not for very long. I can also take the often insane issues about what foods are ethically acceptable, even if I find the reasoning suspect at best. However something like

Even better if I stopped being a vegan entirely, so that they wouldn't suffer with the knowledge that someone, somewhere, is enjoying a hearty bowl of split pea soup with tofu croutons.

is just wrong. I would like it if people stopped being vegans so the very idea of "tofu croutons" would perish from the Earth. I mean, really, WTF? Surely all correct-thinking individuals can agree that whatever virtues or vices may be inherent to a piece of tofu, it certainly didn't need to be tortured into the semblance of a crouton for some hippy who refuses to eat meat.

Anybody who tells me vegetarian/vegan food is just as tasty as real food has a pretty fucking huge hurdle to overcome. Tofu croutons. Yeesh.

Alien Creatures

I frequently attempt to understand the thought processes of people not like me. It’s an exercise which usually ends with me wandering off thinking to myself about just how nuts people are. Usually, I just wander down the hall and talk to the sales department. Today, I read an article by someone who claims he’s not a dickhead vegetarian. I have my doubts, having never encountered such a specimen in the wild. I usually encounter the types that feel compelled to look at whatever piece of flesh I’m eating and tell me “That’s bad for you.” Yeah, so’s fucking hassling me about my lunch. Keep it up and find out why. I tend to get a tad hostile towards people who try to extol the virtues of vegetarianism to me. I chalk it up as a remnant of having to deal with my semi-psychotic, wanna-be hippie mother on the subject as a child. Either that or the fact that I’m just generally hostile, take your pick.

Anyhow, he makes the valid point that most restaurants spend no time and effort on their vegetarian dishes. And why would they, especially around here? The economic return doesn’t justify it. Trying to make this point, he framed the question thusly:

With no flesh available, picture what you'd make

My immediate thought was “a trip to the store for some meat”. I’m probably not the target audience he’s trying to reach.

Thoughts on Boiling Crawfish

I remain convinced that my seasoning mix for boiling crawfish is superior to the big ol’ jar of Zatarain’s one buys down at the market. I boiled another sack for the BioHouston Chili Cookoff on Friday. Instead of my recipe, I took the path of least resistance and bought the big jar. It apparently makes no difference to the average consumer. Of course, I have not yet met anyone else in Houston who mixes their own boil seasoning. Everyone I have talked to about this just buys Zatarain's, so it may be that no one has ever had anything other than the big jar o' Z. However, I think I’m going to continue to make my own seasoning when I do it at the house. For events away from home, Zatarain’s is way easier. Since nobody seems to give a damn except me and J, I don’t see a need to bother with the extra effort.

Chef Paul Rocks

Takes a bullet and keeps on cooking.

I love Chef Paul. His cookbooks are fantastic, but are bastions of what I refer to as “sous chef cooking”. The recipes take 14 pans, 1200 steps, and ideally several line cooks to handle the details. They’re the kind of recipes that make you want to delegate everything off to the sous chef and go have a drink. Of course, the easy answer is to go eat at his restaurant and not worry about it, but since I live in Houston, that’s not always an answer.

Super Tuesday

Actually, it's Super Fat Tuesday. Does that mean anyone you vote for today is more fattening than usual? Or are we voting for obesity at the polls instead of with our stomachs? No, wait, that's not it. I'm so confused. Anyhow, we should get a clear front-runner from both sides after today. Any way this turns out, I won't like it. So we'll say no more about it until tomorrow, when I expect to be slightly hungover and extremely bitter.

The weekend was a little hectic at YPS Manor. The last final push to market the house was underway when the call came that domestic harmony and marital bliss had completely eluded certain others in the universe. So I fired up the truck and went and picked up the nniece* (hereafter referred to as N) and a whole pile of her stuff and moved her into the house.

However, as mentioned, I did manage to smoke the corned beef. I am, so far, not impressed with my electric smoker. The corned beef was looking extremely pallid after 9 hours on the smoker. I brought it inside and threw it the oven at 400 degrees to brown up a little. This had the somewhat unfortunate effect of drawing a lot of the salt to the surface. The last corned beef turned out better, but that was done over charcoal. The smoke flavor is more pronounced, and the meat just looks better. I may see if the electric smoker can be repurposed to something useful, since it doesn't do so hot as a smoker. I will try it again, just to finalize my opinion. So far it's failed with a turducken and failed with a corned beef. I need some other form of meat to try before I can conclusively establish a trifecta of fail and pronounce anathema on the smoker. I have a couple books on sausage making. Maybe I can make some sausage and try smoking it in the electric as final resort...

*Our not-niece. Not technically our niece, but effectively so. De facto as opposed to jus sanguine, I s'pose.

Meaty, Bacony Goodness

In my quest to inflict arterial damage on the rest of the world, since medical advice has slowed my propensities towards same, I give you three links.

Allied Kenco has everything you could ever want or need to make sausage except the actual meat. As an added bonus, they're right here in town. Well, that's a bonus for me, anyway. If you don't live in Houston, not so much. You'll have to mail order like everyone else.

I think this would be better if it were on a stick, kind of like a corn dog.

Finally, I am so making some bacon infused vodka. I think that will make fantastic Bloody Marys when mixed with the Stoli pepper vodka.

In other meaty goodness, I am brining a beef for corned beef as I type. 1/2 gallon water, 1 & 1/2 cups salt, 1 tbsp. Penzey's Pickling Spice. Place in gallo ziploc bag with 5 pound boneless chuck roast. Place in fridge. Wait a week. Smoke to taste. I'll let you know next week how it is. It turned out well last time, so hopefully no issues this time around.

Quick Minute of Health Paranoia

Drink up, bitches!

Condiment

This is quite possibly my favoritest new condiment. It goes good on bison burger, steak, Spam, cheese pizza, and many other dishes. I heartily recommend it.

Holidaze

So, as promised, the update on the non-frying turkey fryer. I’m going to have to say it works very well. It doesn’t quite get you the crispy texture of a fried turkey, but it comes pretty close. It also leaves the interior nice and moist, which I usually find fried turkeys to be lacking. Of course, I brine my turkeys overnight before doing anything with them. I also inject them in key strategic spots with whiskey (JD or Maker’s, whichever bottle is closest). It’s not as quick as the frying, but doesn’t take an extraordinarily long time.

I received for Christmas a Brinkmann electric smoker, so the enabling continues. I fired up the Brinkmann, but it wasn’t working fast enough, so I had to transfer the turducken in question elsewhere for cooking. The Brinkmann looks like it would be nice, as you don’t have to constantly add charcoal and check on it.

I now have more ways and devices to cook outside than I do inside. This is especially bizarre for someone who doesn’t go outdoors much, except to cook and call the dog. A quick recap for the latecomers:

• One gas grill with rotisserie and side burner
• One Weber charcoal kettle grill
• One charcoal tower smoker*
• One electric smoker*
• One oil-less turkey fryer*
• Two burner propane cart*
• Single propane burner

All items marked with asterisks were given to me by my mother-in-law. She takes much vicarious enjoyment from my outdoor cooking.

Anyhow, much gifting and festivities occurred over the holiday season. We gave out a case of liters of vodka over the holidays as gifts. Yes, you look like an alcoholic when you’re buying case quantities and spending over $500 at the liquor store. Best gift received? Probably the X-Box 360 Elite my lovely wife gave me. It is, at least according to Microsoft, the most amazing product ever or some such nonsense.

Turkey Non-Fryer

My mother-in-law, always the enabler, gave me this for my birthday. I'm a little dubious, but I can see some potential uses. I'll have to fire it up and see what happens. More details as events warrant.