The Death of Brick & Mortar

So, the freezer here at YPS Manor died. We had put off doing anything about it because we were hoping that the manse would be up on the selling block and we could wait until we moved before replacing it. Alas, football season rolled around and with it the need for freezer space. So, in a wild burst of optimism, I called Sears to see if it could be fixed. The estimate to fix a 10 year old freezer that cost $300 came in at $1300. I felt so good about paying a guy $65 bucks for that tidbit of information. However, he gave me a coupon so that if I bought my new appliance from Sears in the next 60 days, I would get the $65 back as a discount.

So it became time to research freezers and see if Sears had anything suitable. Lo and behold, Sears' advertising is not a lie. They have a wider selection of appliances than any other national retailer. So after some perusal and consideration, we decided upon a frost-free model from Kenmore. As the nice man had told me I would need to go into the store to use my discount, I took a shower and put on pants this past Saturday to buy me an appliance. As it turns out, I may have been better off staying at home.

Sears' sales process for appliances these days is to have a cheerful, yet somewhat clueless, salesperson type your information into an iPad on what looks like the very same screens I could have used from home. Instead of typing my info in myself, I now get to watch clueless Bob fat finger his way through the process. The kicker comes when Bob can't figure out how to apply my discount code. The discount is the only reason I got up off my ass and came in here. No $65 off, no sale, buddy. So Bob attempts to find a coworker. Coworker explains we have to use the register. No problem, right? Except that it takes Bob no less than 3 attempts to process this transaction. At one point, he attempted to find a manager, only to find out no manager was available. On Saturday afternoon. At the mall. WTF? When did retail decide no manager on duty during the busiest shopping day was a plan? But finally, our purchase was completed and delivery scheduled. Strangely, when I went online that very morning, Sears could deliver next day, but in the store it transforms into 2 days out.

Now, I am no expert on how Sears expects to stay in business in the modern era but if this transaction was any indication, they need to rethink the plan. You need to be providing me something I can't get online when I come into your establishment, be that immediate gratification, human interaction, or physical samples. In the case of clothing, it should be things I can try on to see if they fit. For a transaction like appliances, knowledgeable and trained sales staff would be a good idea. As a bare minimum, have your people trained to complete transactions. If all you're giving me is a guy who's doing the same thing on an iPad I could do from home (and screwing it up), I have no reason to come into your establishment. I can do the data entry quicker and faster, and I don't even have to put pants on or take a shower.

New Year's Devolutions

I had a goal to start posting more with the new year. I also had a goal to start working out again. Then I spent the first full week of the year with a 102 degree fever which turned out to be a result of pneumonia. So my goals got derailed in favor of antibiotics and sleep. I should, pending the result of a doctor visit, be cured. So maybe I can cut back on the sleep and get some stuff done without feeling like I'm gonna fall over.

On the plus side, for old worn out reprobates who don't indulge much in recreational drugs anymore, hydrocodone cough syrup and fever produce some spectacular hallucinatory dreams. The dreams also serve as a reminder of what a dark, strange place the recesses of my subconscious are.

The Magical Card

Let me begin this post with a simple fact: I have never, in my adult life, possessed a Social Security Card. This is distinct from the actual number, which I have had memorized since high school. In all previous interactions, knowledge of the number has been sufficient. A partial list of the transactions includes enlistment into the Army, enrollment in college, collecting VA benefits, a BATFE explosives license, a Concealed Handgun License, every job I've ever had, several mortgages, and all the other numerous impediments of modern life that require a SSN to navigate. I have managed to make it into my 4th decade of life in this country without ever having the card itself. I kind of figured I didn't really need one at this point.

I was wrong. So I spent my lunch hour a few weeks ago at the Social Security Administration waiting to spend 3 minutes talking to the guy at the SSA about a new card. Yay me! I now have a shiny new card in the mail to verify the number I've been using my entire life.

This came up because of some paperwork I have been filling out with the state of Texas. We all agree that the number I have provided matches the person I claim to be, and that I am, as thoroughly as any of us can tell, the person referenced in the system by that number. All the rest of the paperwork involved has demonstrated beyond any shadow of a doubt the linkage, in the mind of the government, of that number with my physical being. Trust me when I tell you: given the amount of paperwork I have done with the state recently, they'd have figured out if me and my SSN didn't match.

This doesn't really matter. I still have to produce a copy of the actual card, because somewhere it is so written. The card must be produced, and woe unto him with no card. So I now have something I've never before needed. Can't you smell my excitement?

PetFlow: Pet Food Delivered on Your Schedule

So, I'm the resident dog food freak. I get it...crazy, but my dogs definitely have better nutrition than I do. If I look at a food or treat ingredient list, and don't see words that look like the type of food that you or I would buy at the grocery store (e.g. duck, chicken, rabbit, potato, carrot), my dogs aren't getting it from me.

I got my first Westie from a backyard breeder, and as most Westies not professionally bred, she had every allergy in the book. Food allergies are one of the worst, because as anyone who has a dog with food allergies knows, you'll find a food that works, then after a couple of years of smooth going, suddenly, the scratching, the chewing, and out comes all the hair.

I had to educate myself about canine nutrition out of necessity, and luckily, my vet at the time was a fantastic resource. After I had exhausted about everything out there, he suggested that I try the old BARF diet. As unappetizing as it sounds, for us it worked, and I became a true believer. About every 6 or so weeks, I'd take a Sunday, grind meat, fruit, veggies, offal, and all the other ingredients, and freeze enough single portions of food to last her. As a result, all of her skin problems, ear problems, scratching, and misery were gone for the remainder of her life.

We have very healthy youngsters, but now that our dog to human ratio is 2.5:1, home making dog food is a little overwhelming. If time and money were no object, I would probably continue to make the raw diet at home like I did for so many years. But you know, with a full time job and 5 times the mouths to feed, for us, it just isn't feasible. Plus, food selection is different than it used to be, and honestly, there are a lot of great and convenient options. We use biologically appropriate raw kibble, but I still make treats at home.

So, because we have to buy about 60 pounds of dog food every 6 or so weeks, we're trying out this service called PetFlow. The idea is that you can set up food delivery on whatever schedule you choose, and PetFlow automatically ships the grub. The service is available for dogs or cats. There are no commitments and you can change the service at any time. It's kind of like the book of the month club, except it's dog food, and you've told them exactly what you want and how often.

They carry a very comprehensive variety of food, and surprisingly carried pretty much everything we use. As far as price, it was about a wash for us. We blend food because I like a large variety of protein sources, and a couple of the bags were $2 or so less and one was $2 or so more. The shipping is flat rate, $4.95 regardless of quantity, although signing up today got me a free shipping deal, but the absence of sales tax did cut the price back down to slightly cheaper than what I'd buy in the store.

One of the most attractive aspects of it for me though is the fact that we don't have to make special trips out to haul the 60 or so pounds of food from the shop to the car, and from the car to the house. I believe this will be a huge time and energy saver for us. I have learned that a lot of people don't place that huge a premium on their time, but we have no choice, and having dog food show up on my door on a regular schedule should be a huge convenience. I'm pretty happy about the find, but if it sucks, I'll let you know.

People Suck

Some inconvenient little scumbag came by and stole my gargoyle and my moai out of my front yard on Saturday night.

I hate people.

Update: My traveling statuary has returned. I am slightly less upset than I was earlier, but I'm still rather peeved.

Thank You

I know one or two people read this occasionally. We appreciate everyone coming out yesterday. It meant a lot. Thanks.