Quiz Time!

I like quizzes! Frank J. has one. Even though it's sadly not multiple choice, I think I can do well, so here goes.

1. Who the hell do you think you are?
What’s it to you, bitch?

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
No, I design equipment to get the petroleum that goes in the fast food. It’s all about the OOOIIL, bay-bee!

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
No, I went and got real degrees that require me to have actual skills besides making shit up.

4. Do you even read newspapers?
Sure. How else do I know who I should be mocking?

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Does X-Play count?

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
Well, I listen to Pacifica occasionally, which pretty much defines “moron talk radio” around here.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
No, but I think J does and just whispers the talking points to me while I sleep.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
I don’t have any friends. Seeing as how I think I should run the world, silencing and firing everyone who disagrees with me (which on this topic is everyone, even J) will move me that much closer to my goal. Then all y’all will really be screwed.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
Other countries suck. Why would I want to visit them when I can buy all of their worthwhile products here? Besides, passports are just another tool of the one-world government types to track your movements and enable surveillance from the UN.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
Only Saudi Arabia, Iraq, and Mexico. They’re all pretty much the same: dirty, smelly, and filled with short black-haired people whom only occasionally consent to speak English at me.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
Because I went to the Gulf the last time. Why hog all the fun? Let somebody else have a try.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
Yes. No.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
I have a dog, a hedgehog, a turtle and three fish. Goo pretty much comes with the territory.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
An attitude problem with access to the Internet. Again, what’s it to you?


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