Schlock The Vote

So in a bizarre twist of events, our regular donk alternate election judge returned no paperwork for the upcoming election. The county called J for advice on who should be the alternate. J, in a fit of lunacy, gave them my name. So I am the alternate judge for the upcoming election. Everyone should hope J remains in good health, because otherwise I’ll be in charge. That never ends well. I have an admitted tendency to abuse power for my own amusement, and I have a really strange sense of humor.

Part of the judgeship involves going to the class on how to run the election. Important highlight: don’t use your cell phone or other wireless communications device within 100 feet of a voting booth. Aside from that, there was almost nothing of interest. Lowlights: the endless litany of stupid questions, the giggling bitch in front of me who kept loudly agreeing with the instructor.

Now, there are a number of constitutional amendments on the ballots this year. As I try to do before each election, I’ll give you the short summary of how you should vote to create the ideal world as imagined by me.

Prop. 1 – Yes. Angelo State doesn’t want to play with Texas State anymore. I sense a money grab as the root cause, but it’s the institutions fighting about their share of the pie. Sure, let ‘em go.
Prop. 2 – No. There’re plenty of sources of funding for education without going in the hole to provide more.
Prop. 3 – Yes. Anything to slow the rate of tax increases.
Prop. 4 – No. We want to borrow a billion dollars. For stuff. What kind of stuff? Just stuff. Yeah, I want a little better explanation of where a billion dollars is going.
Prop. 5 – No. I see sweetheart deals in the making.
Prop. 6 – Yes. I’m ambivalent, but it does lower some folks’ taxes.
Prop. 7 – Yes. In the absence of abolishing eminent domain, I’ll take this one.
Prop. 8 – Yes. They’re tweaking the home equity loan rules. I don’t have any heartburn with the changes.
Prop. 9 – Yes. They’ve paid.
Prop. 10 – Yes. Get rid of useless offices we don’t need anymore.
Prop. 11 – Yes. The weasels need to quit hiding.
Prop. 12 – No, no, no, no. The ignuts at TTC cannot be trusted with $5 billion. They have proven that point with the whole Trans Texas Corridor bullshit.
Prop. 13 – Yes. When we let you out on bail, you have to play nice or you go back to jail.
Prop. 14 – Yes. Avoid the expense of unnecessary turnover.
Prop. 15 – No. Somebody will fund cancer research if the state doesn’t.
Prop. 16 – No. The state needs to quit racking up debt for special projects.

Feel enlightened? Of course you do. Go forth and vote in accordance with my wishes. Failing that, just go vote.