Bad Presents

I stayed home from work today due to profound gastro-intestinal distress. While I was lying in bed half-asleep, the Dog V2.0 hopped on the bed and started whining softly. I opened my eyes to see him staring at me, holding something in his mouth. I fully opened my eyes and sat up to see what the hell he had in his mouth. Dog V2.0, upon seeing he had my full attention, wagged his tail vigorously, dropped his burden, and hopped off the bed.

Leaving a dead bird on the sheets.

Thanks. Way to cap off an already shitty morning, junior.