Entertainment Discomfort
Basically this is a vent about a peeve of mine. We at YPS Manor subscribe to Netflix. It is a great service that I highly recommend. We have our little queue with all of the lovely movies we want to watch listed in our very own special priority order. We watch a movie, return it, and get a new one...just the way we like it. All is happy in movie world.
Except, enter well meaning friends.
Some also have Netflix, some just buy DVD's indiscriminately, whatever. They decide that they've seen something that is so good that we just have to see it...right now. Often they'll bring the DVD's they own over and leave them, unsolicited, and sometimes they just pester the crap out of me about why haven't I moved "WTF-ever" to the top of our queue, because it is just soooo good we haaaaave to see it.
If you do this to your friends, please pay close attention to his message, because your friends want to say this to you, but don't want to hurt your feelings. We have a Netflix queue with all the movies we want to see, in the order we want to see them. When you bring your personal pick over, you have become an unwanted intruder. You have forced yourself and your squirrelly-assed opinion upon us. Our movie watching time is limited, and we've chosen what we want to see; so mostly, you have now emotionally black-mailed us into watching something we'd never choose. That might sound harsh, but it is true. If you bring your DVD to me, and I say, "no thanks, please don't leave that, we don't want to see it, I have what I want to see on my list"...you are going to be offended or put off in some way. It is stupid, but true.
We have a few DVD's that we never asked to borrow, which have been sitting on our TV for approaching a year, because we don't care to watch them. It doesn't matter that I've attempted to return said DVD's, stating, "look, I appreciate the loaner, but we just don't have time, and I hate to keep it", because that is quickly countered with a "oh hey, no big, we don't need it back right away". So, there they sit, unwatched, for perpetuity.
The funny thing about the biggest offender of dropping off unwanted DVD's is that this person is listed as a "friend" on our Netflix queue, and has commented on more than one occasion about our "strange" movie taste and how she would never watch some of the stuff we have at home. Hmmm...ever imagine that the feeling might be mutual?
Again, our entertainment time is limited, so we actually do research movies that we want to see, so I can state confidently that 99% of the time, if something isn't on the queue and we haven't seen it already, we don't want to see it. We really don't. Did you get that?
A very dear coworker and friend just did this same thing to me with a book recently. This especially creeps me out because I would not loan one of our beloved YPS tomes to anyone. They just have a way of not returning. I'm grateful that it was very short. "The Devil Wears Prada", not my typical genre, but it only took me one day to read, and it was pretty shallow and entertaining nonetheless.
Those who read YPS regularly know that we are pretty avid readers, so much so that we have to inventory our book collection. We have a crap load of books. Because of this fact, I have a (mental) list of books that I want to read. I keep a stack on my nightstand in the order I want to read them. Some are partially read and I don't feel like finishing them now but will later, and some are just next. When someone forces a book on me, it screws my book queue just like the movie intruder screws my Netflix queue; except because my reading time is even more limited than even my movie time, the loaner book throws a bigger wrench into the works than the unwanted movie.
Another friend of mine who witnessed this phenomenon said to me once, "ah hell, just return the book or movie or whatever, don't read or watch it, say it was great, thanks, and move on".
That is so much easier said than done. First, because I don't like to be dishonest to my friends (who mean well), and second, people who want to loan you their media want to discuss the material when you return it...like their very own oral report or quiz to see if you did read or view the thing. Remember they were so obsessed with it that they forced it on you in the first place, they're going to want a critique for the privilege. And, they're going to be offended if you can't oblige.
Like I stated before, I understand the generous intention, but it is still extremely annoying and unwelcome. So, if you're guilty, stop it...seriously. I could give a shit about your entertainment taste. I have my own, and you don't want me to share it with you either.
Except, enter well meaning friends.
Some also have Netflix, some just buy DVD's indiscriminately, whatever. They decide that they've seen something that is so good that we just have to see it...right now. Often they'll bring the DVD's they own over and leave them, unsolicited, and sometimes they just pester the crap out of me about why haven't I moved "WTF-ever" to the top of our queue, because it is just soooo good we haaaaave to see it.
If you do this to your friends, please pay close attention to his message, because your friends want to say this to you, but don't want to hurt your feelings. We have a Netflix queue with all the movies we want to see, in the order we want to see them. When you bring your personal pick over, you have become an unwanted intruder. You have forced yourself and your squirrelly-assed opinion upon us. Our movie watching time is limited, and we've chosen what we want to see; so mostly, you have now emotionally black-mailed us into watching something we'd never choose. That might sound harsh, but it is true. If you bring your DVD to me, and I say, "no thanks, please don't leave that, we don't want to see it, I have what I want to see on my list"...you are going to be offended or put off in some way. It is stupid, but true.
We have a few DVD's that we never asked to borrow, which have been sitting on our TV for approaching a year, because we don't care to watch them. It doesn't matter that I've attempted to return said DVD's, stating, "look, I appreciate the loaner, but we just don't have time, and I hate to keep it", because that is quickly countered with a "oh hey, no big, we don't need it back right away". So, there they sit, unwatched, for perpetuity.
The funny thing about the biggest offender of dropping off unwanted DVD's is that this person is listed as a "friend" on our Netflix queue, and has commented on more than one occasion about our "strange" movie taste and how she would never watch some of the stuff we have at home. Hmmm...ever imagine that the feeling might be mutual?
Again, our entertainment time is limited, so we actually do research movies that we want to see, so I can state confidently that 99% of the time, if something isn't on the queue and we haven't seen it already, we don't want to see it. We really don't. Did you get that?
A very dear coworker and friend just did this same thing to me with a book recently. This especially creeps me out because I would not loan one of our beloved YPS tomes to anyone. They just have a way of not returning. I'm grateful that it was very short. "The Devil Wears Prada", not my typical genre, but it only took me one day to read, and it was pretty shallow and entertaining nonetheless.
Those who read YPS regularly know that we are pretty avid readers, so much so that we have to inventory our book collection. We have a crap load of books. Because of this fact, I have a (mental) list of books that I want to read. I keep a stack on my nightstand in the order I want to read them. Some are partially read and I don't feel like finishing them now but will later, and some are just next. When someone forces a book on me, it screws my book queue just like the movie intruder screws my Netflix queue; except because my reading time is even more limited than even my movie time, the loaner book throws a bigger wrench into the works than the unwanted movie.
Another friend of mine who witnessed this phenomenon said to me once, "ah hell, just return the book or movie or whatever, don't read or watch it, say it was great, thanks, and move on".
That is so much easier said than done. First, because I don't like to be dishonest to my friends (who mean well), and second, people who want to loan you their media want to discuss the material when you return it...like their very own oral report or quiz to see if you did read or view the thing. Remember they were so obsessed with it that they forced it on you in the first place, they're going to want a critique for the privilege. And, they're going to be offended if you can't oblige.
Like I stated before, I understand the generous intention, but it is still extremely annoying and unwelcome. So, if you're guilty, stop it...seriously. I could give a shit about your entertainment taste. I have my own, and you don't want me to share it with you either.
posted by J at 5:25 PM
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