Resolute

It's the beginning of a shiny new year, filled with unanticipated disappointments and your old familiar regrets. I know many people make resolutions to do something, anything, to improve their life situation. I, on the other hand, am pretty damn wonderful the way I am and don't need to change except to possibly get more betterer. Anyhow, in the spirit of change and hope that permeates the very fabric of America, (smells like bullshit, incidentally), I have some suggestions for New Year's resolutions because frankly, some of y'all need to tighten the hell up, mmkay? These are ideal if you've already blown off the resolutions you made while drunk and/or hungover earlier this year. 

• Eat more beets. 
• Work less, procrastinate more. (I may have this one backwards. Check with a reputable advice columnist.) 
• Keep a dream diary to realize how disturbed your subconscious really is. 
• Stop feeding Ex Lax to toddlers, especially the ones that aren't yours. 
• Finish things, preferably with a cool Mortal Kombat style finishing move. 
• Quit accidentally stapling yourself to things. The company can't afford the staples. 
• Drink more or less caffeine, depending on how much you vibrate while at rest. 
• Stop selling used underwear on eBay to finance your buying-used-underwear habit. It's a vicious cycle that benefits no one. 
• Soap is not optional this year, bathdodger. 
• While you've probably given up on it already this year, lose some weight, lardo. 
• Practice a skill. Masturbation, by the way, is not a skill, despite what some of you seem to think. 
• Stop commenting on YouTube. 
• Get more tattoos. 
• Only be rude to people who deserve it.
• Quit shouting "Hey, cocksucker!" to get people's attention. While often accurate, it's still somewhat gauche. 
• Stay out of the left hand lane if you're not exceeding the speed limit.
• Don't refer to your genitalia in the third person. It's creepy and off-putting. 
• Pay your liquor store bill. Distillers and brewers have families, too, you know. 

While I am pretty near perfect, I admit I am planning on a few of these for the year. Which ones, I leave it up you to decipher.

 As long as we're on the subject, you might find this article from Cracked of some use if you really want to change for the better.

Chicken Sandwiches Aren't Important

Let's leave aside the very real issue of elected government officials threatening legitimate businesses over the views of the executives, okay? J already covered that. It's a real issue, and one that more people should have focused on.

But this has been going on for over a week and the circus has reached the point of absurdity. I'd like to congratulate everyone for taking the bait and going off on a tangent in the middle of disaster. We're borrowing $41,000 a second to spend on useless bullshit, and people are spending all their time worrying about a chicken sandwich chain? 

What's gonna impact your human rights more, GLBT community? The fact that some guy who sells sandwiches doesn't think you should get married or the inescapable debt peonage you'll be placed into by the federal government to pay off the $15,900,000,000,000 they owe to everybody under the sun? Think about the answer long and hard, because so far you've come to the entirely wrong conclusion. Of course, the frenzied adulation showered upon a president who has done exactly 'jack' and 'shit' for your issues shows the clarity of y'all's thinking.

Now, don't think the other side is blameless either. Great, go buy a chicken sandwich and support free speech or whatever. But it's still not a big deal. Even the halfwitted mumbler and the overcompensating ballerina had to come up and admit there really wasn't anything they could do. By driving the conversation to even more ridiculous heights, you sucked out all the oxygen in the room and diverted everybody's attention from more important issues.

Grow the fuck up, people. You're concerning yourself with trivia while the world burns. Our national spending is completely out of control, and distracting yourself with sandwich drama isn't helping.

While I'm on the subject of adult behavior, try to remember one thing if you're going to go play kissy-face in front of or inside of a restaurant tonight: a fundamental aspect of character is how you treat people who have no power over you. If you think, as this guy apparently did, that by harassing the employees of a restaurant your making some kind of grand statement, you're half-right. You're making the less-than-grand statement that you're an asshole who thinks mistreating innocent people is just peachy. Get your protest on, but don't be a dick to the people working there. They need their paycheck just as much as any of you do.    

Screw Boston & Chicago & Go Eat some Chick-Fil-A Nuggets or Something

This whole Chick-Fil-A issue has really rubbed me the wrong way. I have no problem at all if individuals choose not to patronize businesses whose corporate philosophies differ with their sincerely held beliefs; my problem is that in both Boston and Chicago, elected officials are using the power of tyrannical government to ban a legal business, simply because these officials disagree with the beliefs of the CEO. I wonder if the people who think this is so wonderful would be so thrilled if a Republican mayor closed down every movie theater in town because he or she didn't want all those communist actors on their movie screens? Let's start burning books...hooray! I mean really, what's the difference?

Ironically, it is this same Boston mayor who has circumvented every established law and code to get a mosque built that many in the area don't want. So the CEO of Chick-Fil-A doesn't like the idea of gay marriage...OK, so do most folks. (For the record, I respectfully disagree with that view.) But, there is no evidence that his company has ever maltreated any gay person. Let's contrast that to the teachings of Islam on homosexuality, which is, well, a death sentence for its participants.

 The mayor of Boston and that retarded ballerina in Chicago are disgusting, hypocritical trolls who should be banned from elective office until they can actually prove to a competent person that they have even a rudimentary knowledge of the United States Constitution.

Of course, I would expect no less pathetic behavior from the open-minded and oh so tolerant left.

Internet Research Failure

So, my trusty resource the internets have failed me. I've been trying to find out what I can about my old electric guitar, and there just isn't much out there.

Anyhow, I have an old Burnside Cutlass. This was a Guild sub-brand in the 80s that was, depending on who you ask, imported from Korea or China or possibly made here in the US. It has an HSS-style pickup arrangement, and a tremolo that may or may not be a Kahler, or it may be a Floyd Rose knockoff. Definitive answers are few and far between.

This is the extent of the knowledge available on the internet about this item. If anyone else has more info, I'd love to get it.