Efenant Party Time 2012

So, the GOP is having another nominating convention, and as is becoming the tradition, we here at YPS Manor have mostly ignored it in favor of spending a little quality time with each other and some old and new friends. Aside from a bit of comedy provided by the Paulbots, nothing of import was going to happen. Seriously, efenants, Mittens? That's the best you can come up with?

Neither party is serious about addressing the problems our country faces, so why should I be serious about paying attention to them? The clowns have taken over the circus, and are determined to drop the tent on everybody as the final act. The screaming and wailing and gnashing of teeth is going to be epic when it finally collapses.

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The Death of Brick & Mortar

So, the freezer here at YPS Manor died. We had put off doing anything about it because we were hoping that the manse would be up on the selling block and we could wait until we moved before replacing it. Alas, football season rolled around and with it the need for freezer space. So, in a wild burst of optimism, I called Sears to see if it could be fixed. The estimate to fix a 10 year old freezer that cost $300 came in at $1300. I felt so good about paying a guy $65 bucks for that tidbit of information. However, he gave me a coupon so that if I bought my new appliance from Sears in the next 60 days, I would get the $65 back as a discount.

So it became time to research freezers and see if Sears had anything suitable. Lo and behold, Sears' advertising is not a lie. They have a wider selection of appliances than any other national retailer. So after some perusal and consideration, we decided upon a frost-free model from Kenmore. As the nice man had told me I would need to go into the store to use my discount, I took a shower and put on pants this past Saturday to buy me an appliance. As it turns out, I may have been better off staying at home.

Sears' sales process for appliances these days is to have a cheerful, yet somewhat clueless, salesperson type your information into an iPad on what looks like the very same screens I could have used from home. Instead of typing my info in myself, I now get to watch clueless Bob fat finger his way through the process. The kicker comes when Bob can't figure out how to apply my discount code. The discount is the only reason I got up off my ass and came in here. No $65 off, no sale, buddy. So Bob attempts to find a coworker. Coworker explains we have to use the register. No problem, right? Except that it takes Bob no less than 3 attempts to process this transaction. At one point, he attempted to find a manager, only to find out no manager was available. On Saturday afternoon. At the mall. WTF? When did retail decide no manager on duty during the busiest shopping day was a plan? But finally, our purchase was completed and delivery scheduled. Strangely, when I went online that very morning, Sears could deliver next day, but in the store it transforms into 2 days out.

Now, I am no expert on how Sears expects to stay in business in the modern era but if this transaction was any indication, they need to rethink the plan. You need to be providing me something I can't get online when I come into your establishment, be that immediate gratification, human interaction, or physical samples. In the case of clothing, it should be things I can try on to see if they fit. For a transaction like appliances, knowledgeable and trained sales staff would be a good idea. As a bare minimum, have your people trained to complete transactions. If all you're giving me is a guy who's doing the same thing on an iPad I could do from home (and screwing it up), I have no reason to come into your establishment. I can do the data entry quicker and faster, and I don't even have to put pants on or take a shower.

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Chicken Sandwiches Aren't Important

Let's leave aside the very real issue of elected government officials threatening legitimate businesses over the views of the executives, okay? J already covered that. It's a real issue, and one that more people should have focused on.

But this has been going on for over a week and the circus has reached the point of absurdity. I'd like to congratulate everyone for taking the bait and going off on a tangent in the middle of disaster. We're borrowing $41,000 a second to spend on useless bullshit, and people are spending all their time worrying about a chicken sandwich chain? 

What's gonna impact your human rights more, GLBT community? The fact that some guy who sells sandwiches doesn't think you should get married or the inescapable debt peonage you'll be placed into by the federal government to pay off the $15,900,000,000,000 they owe to everybody under the sun? Think about the answer long and hard, because so far you've come to the entirely wrong conclusion. Of course, the frenzied adulation showered upon a president who has done exactly 'jack' and 'shit' for your issues shows the clarity of y'all's thinking.

Now, don't think the other side is blameless either. Great, go buy a chicken sandwich and support free speech or whatever. But it's still not a big deal. Even the halfwitted mumbler and the overcompensating ballerina had to come up and admit there really wasn't anything they could do. By driving the conversation to even more ridiculous heights, you sucked out all the oxygen in the room and diverted everybody's attention from more important issues.

Grow the fuck up, people. You're concerning yourself with trivia while the world burns. Our national spending is completely out of control, and distracting yourself with sandwich drama isn't helping.

While I'm on the subject of adult behavior, try to remember one thing if you're going to go play kissy-face in front of or inside of a restaurant tonight: a fundamental aspect of character is how you treat people who have no power over you. If you think, as this guy apparently did, that by harassing the employees of a restaurant your making some kind of grand statement, you're half-right. You're making the less-than-grand statement that you're an asshole who thinks mistreating innocent people is just peachy. Get your protest on, but don't be a dick to the people working there. They need their paycheck just as much as any of you do.    

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