Fat, Fat, Fat

Well, the Ren Fest is in full swing up in Plantersville. Once again, we made the arduous trip. I was disappointed because J ordered me a fabulous item of clothing to wear. Alas, it did not arrive in time, so I fell back to a shirt that still makes me giggle when I pull it out of the closet. The shirt was a big hit amongst many of the vendors at the fair. I did have one moron ask me what it meant. I think he thought he was being clever or something.

The preferred shirt was definitely necessary. Once again, I plead with my fellow Americans. Nobody wants to see your chunky cellulite encrusted self in the almost altogether. Recognize this and accept it. If you want to run around and wave your flab at people, do it in private where the rest of us don’t have to watch. Seriously, few of us have the kind of physique that is attractive enough for public display, so don’t.

Anyhow, we went and ate and drank mightily. The batter fried sausage on a stick was consumed again this year, but was not as good as years past. I think the underlying sausage was inferior. When deep frying a battered sausage, a quality sausage is essential. The sausage was a little rubbery and not very juicy, in addition to being bland. Also on the menu was the fried mushroom on a stick. The shrooms had a worse batter this year. It had a grittier consistency and was not up to my exacting standards for stick-borne fried comestibles. It seemed to be more of a cornmeal batter than the usual (and superior for mushrooms) flour base. We also had a steak on a stick, which was fine, if a little bland. The winner of the fried food on sticks competition this year was a pork tenderloin, pounded thin, battered, staked, and fried. Nice and tasty. The batter complemented the juicy pork quite well. All in all, the staked pork was the hands-down winner.

Of course, I still have to schedule a doctor visit for a cholesterol test. Maybe the festival of fried foods wasn’t such a good plan. Oh, well. Hopefully I drank enough to thin out some of the grease. I must admit, I’m a little disappointed that they weren’t selling Bass like last year. On the other hand, the tavern had Lindeman’s Framboise Lambic on tap and Young’s Double Chocolate Stout was available at random intervals throughout the place. They also had a wide enough variety of other alcoholic beverages to satisfy the somewhat pickier J. On a side note, when they say "Jack and Coke" flavor for the frozen drinks, they’re lying. It tastes like neither Jack Daniels nor Coca-Cola. It tastes more like supermarket brand cola with grain alcohol. I can’t in good conscience recommend anyone buy the fake stuff, because it was nasty. That didn’t stop me from drinking a half-yard of it, though.

As always, I encourage people to go if you happen to be within a reasonable driving distance. Since we frittered away the day drinking and lollygagging, we didn’t get to everything. This means we must go back, probably in November. When we go back, I’ll have my shirt on.


Post a Comment

<< Home