Lawsuit As Absurdist Theatre

So, I’m minding my own business trying to get some work done (torque calculations on hydraulic motor and gearbox sets, if you must know) when J emailed me the news.

Dan Rather is suing CBS, Viacom, and others over the ‘intentional mishandling’ of the aftermath of the original ‘fake but accurate’ news story. He figures that’s worth $20 million in compensatory damages and another $50 mil in punitive. Me, I would counter-sue Rather for the damage he did to the credibility of the CBS News organization.

In any event, this is going to make for some fine absurdist theatre if it goes to trial. I’m betting it won’t get that far, though. In my opinion, aside from Kenneth… err, Dan’s lack of any real basis for the suit, both parties have (or should have) copious quantities of knowledge about the other party. Discovery could produce lots of dirt on both sides. Of course Viacom, et al. has more money and can afford more lawyers, so they can just drag it out until Dan croaks. He’s what, a hundred and twelve? Older than dirt? Anyhow, he’s about due, actuarially speaking.

Anyhow, as Dan once said, if a frog had side pockets, he’d carry a handgun. So take those words to heart and either avoid armed amphibians or learn from Gunga Dan’s eventual defeat and don’t make up bullshit to sue over.