Flabbergasted Am I

A stunning array of companies makes tactical accessories for various and sundry forms of guns. Even the casual observer should quickly figure out all of the spiffy so-called tactical stuff cannot possibly be going to the military and law enforcement community. Too much stuff exists and is being made for that to be true. So who buys all the excess?

I could be all non-threatening and PC and say “firearms enthusiasts” or “shooting sports aficionados” but that would be bullshit. It’s gun nuts. Gun nuts buy all the tacticool gear. You may disagree with the term, but you know the type. In general, it’s a collection of people with an avowed commitment to the 2nd Amendment and an abiding distrust of the government. In other words, people like me. If you can equip an infantry squad out of your gun safe, you probably qualify.

If the people I just described are existing and potential customers, why on earth would you print a catalog with an endorsement from Lon Horiuchi on the back page? Did you just wake up and eat a big bowl of stupid for breakfast before approving the catalog proofs? Did you think we all forgot about Ruby Ridge? I sure hope HS Precision has lots of .gov contracts, because their business from individuals just came to a screeching halt. I dunno if HS Precision can crawfish enough to get out of the mess. In any event, I am reasonably certain any company so clueless about their customer base probably doesn't deserve to survive.

Light ‘Em Up

Flamethrowers are not covered by any federal firearms statute, nor do they appear to be covered by any state law here in Texas. You may not be able to shoot bullets, but you can spray flaming liquids about!

I bring this up for absolutely no reason at all. Really. Well, other than it gives me an opportunity to mention two of my favorite quotes ever.

It is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

As I recall, the quote is Terry Pratchett from one of the Discworld books. The other one must be sadly unattributed.

If you build a man a fire, he’ll be warm for a day. If you set a man on fire, he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

So, on that note, I leave you to contemplate the wisdom of strapping a pressurized container of napalm to your back and spraying it around willy-nilly.

Not Acceptable

No matter what you vegetarians may think, there is no substitute for a turducken. While I am prone to making snide comments like "Vegetables aren't food, vegetables are what food eats", there is a larger fundamental issue here besides my desire to mock those lower on the food chain.

Your food should be honest. Trying to tart up vegetables into being something that almost, but not really, resembles meat is a disservice to both the vegetable and the diner. Celebrate your food for what it is, not what somebody wishes it could be. Part of the reason many people think vegetarian food is crap is because of the attempts to make some bizarro meatish thing for non-vegetarians. Well, that and an over-reliance on tofu. Despite what you may have been led to believe, a vegetable-based drywall mud is unappetizing.

Besides, all the strange attempts to make meat-like things from textured mycoprotein and soybean paste always taste weird. And tofurkey is an abomination to all, mmkay?

Hippity-Hoppity-Hopeity

According to Politico, we will again have a Clinton in the executive branch along with yet another guy who worked for the Clinton administration. I don't see the junior Senator from New York as having a whole hell of a lot of foreign policy experience. Fortuneately for me, I don't have to worry about who to appoint. I get to sit here and question the qualifications of lawyers to do anything but argue incessantly. It's an easy gig, frankly, and much less work than my real job.

In any event, I am doubtful Sen. Clinton will do as poor a job as Madeleine Albright did, so she's got that going for her. Of course, I'm reasonably certain Dog V2.0 could perform better than Madeleine Albright in most tasks not requiring an opposable thumb. I have a fairly low opinion of the former Secretary's competence.

In any event, I continue to wonder if these appointment presage the kind of Change all you Obamanauts can be disappointed by. Maybe this is where the Hope comes in? I'm unsure.

Sparing the Change

So, anybody seen the list of cabinet picks trickling out from the Obama transition team? So much for hope and change. Daschle, Holder, a possible Clinton, Emanuel... what's new about this crowd? Was it a change back to 1996 y'all were supposed to be getting when you pulled the donk lever? Seriously, he sent Madeleine Albright out to talk to the G-20. Moronic Madeleine Albright! C'mon, people, what the hell is this? Dredge up all the Clinton retreads that couldn't get real jobs? At least he passed on Jamie Gorelick for AG.

Change my ass. I just hope this only lasts 4 years.

Make It Three

A post over at passive aggressive notes.com nails one of the many reasons why I'm not going back to grad school ever again unless I'm independently wealthy. Group projects suck, especially in business school. The MBA is the catfish of graduate degrees.

VD 2008

The official proclamation from the folks in charge of my branch of service is here. I presume similar announcements are available for the other lesser services. One of these days I'll get around to a more thorough discussion of being a veteran. It wasn't going to be this year, for a variety of reasons. So instead, I will impart to you some wisdom I learned in the Army.

• When traveling, anything important stays attached to your person no matter what anybody else says.
  
• You can have too much ammunition if you have to carry it yourself. If you have a vehicle, though, there's really no upper limit.
• You can push off a hangover almost indefinitely by continuing to drink. Unfortunately, once it does catch up to you, it'll be epic.
• Most of the things in life which are truly important are conceptually very simple. Execution, however, is often a bitch.
• Getting shot sucks.

I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of right now. As always, buy a veteran a drink today.

Thank You

I know one or two people read this occasionally. We appreciate everyone coming out yesterday. It meant a lot. Thanks.

Thought For The Day

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Idiot Check

So Facebook has proved to be invaluable after the election. Based on the comments I'm getting, I now know which of my friends are dumb enough to vote for Obiden or think it's great he won. I normally avoid posting things like that directly reference people I know, but I'm fed up. If you voted for Change and Hope, you deserve to reap the coming whirlwind.

The only thing that has the possibility of preventing this from being a complete fucking disaster is the efenant Senate minority. Based on past history, that ain't much. The efenant squad better sack up and enforce some party discipline or this'll be fugly.

Fuck it. I'm gonna spend my bonus check on guns and ammo before the donks make it all illegal.

Vote Or Stay Home

Election tomorrow, in case you happened to have just crawled out from under your rock after a period of hibernation. I'd tell you how to vote, but you won't listen and will perpetuate the problem.

On the one hand, we've got a guy who has been in the Senate for a lifetime and was a career military man before he got elected. He's a part of the establishment with every fiber of his being. Don't expect novel solutions and out of the box thinking. The campaign he ran should be ample proof.

On the other hand, we've got a guy committed to ideologies which have been proven to fail spectacularly. He also has a distressing lack of experience doing much of anything.

There are some other choices available on the ballot, but they won't win, so who cares.

A friend asked me this morning if I don't trust the American public to pick a competent leader. If there was a competent leader on the ballot, that might be an issue. But there isn't, and I don't. This election may be the final proof I need to confirm a suspicion I have. I suspect, in the aggregate, we're too goddamned stupid to handle the running of a constitutional republic. If that's the case, let's burn it down and start over.