Vote For The Last Time

Since we have put the house on the market and signed the contract on the new house, J has decided to not run for precinct chair after the primary. This means the primary tomorrow will be the last time I will be working the polls for the foreseeable future. So, for the final time, I will exhort you to go and vote and be nice to your election workers. After tomorrow, I won’t care if you decide the appropriate course of action is to pelt election workers with rancid gummi bears. I won’t approve and you’ll be an asshole for doing it, but since you won’t be pelting me I won’t get too incensed about it.

If you’re voting donk, vote for the candidate least likely to win the general election. I have no idea which one that is, although current polling data suggests Clinton. You won’t be in my polling place in any event. Don’t forget to caucus, lest your vote be overturned by the machinations of your local donk activists. Don’t let that happen to you! Caucus, and demand your rights, loudly and often! Don’t take no guff from nobody! How you voted is how that caucus should go, and say so as loudly and vociferously as possible! Make your viewpoint heard, as often as possible!*

If you’re voting efenant, I humbly suggest Ron Paul on top and anybody other than Her Majestic Pinkness in the CD22 race. Honestly, out of all the people running, any random selection would have to do a better job than her. If you can’t vote for Paul, and think McCain is quite possibly a manifestation of the antichrist, uncommitted may be your option. Just don’t vote for the Huckabeeste, because, despite what I was told this weekend, we do not need a “spiritual godfather” in the White House. The phrase makes me think of a grinning Baptist Don Corleone. Pass national health care and a flat tax or get a horse’s head in your bed and a sermon when you complain about it. Anyhow, if you’re voting efenant, there is no caucus after the election, so don’t show up. There’s nothing to accomplish except boring party business.

*If even one person takes this advice and makes the donk precinct chair's night miserable, I can sleep in peace knowing I have done something for humanity today.

Vice Presidential Dreams

So Mittens bailed out in an attempt to make himself look statesman-like for his 2012 run at the prize. People are now asking the inevitable question: who will McCain, as nominee presumptive, pick as his VP? If he picks Huckabeeste, it’s all over but the crying. Whichever donk wins the nomination will beat that ticket like a redheaded stepchild. Of course, I predicted Fred as the eventual winner. My crystal ball is apparently a bit murky when it comes to politics.

I can, however, tell you who it won’t be: Ron Paul. Somebody floated that absurd idea at me the other day and it was more than I could do to not laugh at the poor soul. First, the fact the Washington establishment is not overly enamored of the good Doctor comes into play. McCain is nothing if not an insider. He shares many viewpoints with a lot of the elitist asshats in DC, and Ron Paul isn’t a part of that club. Conversely, why the hell would Ron Paul want to take the VP slot with an asshat like McCain in the pilot seat? He would have little or no influence, and wouldn’t see any of his ideas implemented. Plus, when McCain acts like the crazy old man he is, Paul gets tarred by association.

The final reason is the brutally pragmatic one. I would not take odds on anybody who gets elected with Ron Paul as their VP surviving their term of office. Somebody out there would decide that Ron Paul as President was worth the price, and try to take McCain out.

Look for Thompson to be the VP pick. Romney won’t take it because he has dreams of 2012, and nobody else registered enough interest with voters to matter.