Vote For The Last Time

Since we have put the house on the market and signed the contract on the new house, J has decided to not run for precinct chair after the primary. This means the primary tomorrow will be the last time I will be working the polls for the foreseeable future. So, for the final time, I will exhort you to go and vote and be nice to your election workers. After tomorrow, I won’t care if you decide the appropriate course of action is to pelt election workers with rancid gummi bears. I won’t approve and you’ll be an asshole for doing it, but since you won’t be pelting me I won’t get too incensed about it.

If you’re voting donk, vote for the candidate least likely to win the general election. I have no idea which one that is, although current polling data suggests Clinton. You won’t be in my polling place in any event. Don’t forget to caucus, lest your vote be overturned by the machinations of your local donk activists. Don’t let that happen to you! Caucus, and demand your rights, loudly and often! Don’t take no guff from nobody! How you voted is how that caucus should go, and say so as loudly and vociferously as possible! Make your viewpoint heard, as often as possible!*

If you’re voting efenant, I humbly suggest Ron Paul on top and anybody other than Her Majestic Pinkness in the CD22 race. Honestly, out of all the people running, any random selection would have to do a better job than her. If you can’t vote for Paul, and think McCain is quite possibly a manifestation of the antichrist, uncommitted may be your option. Just don’t vote for the Huckabeeste, because, despite what I was told this weekend, we do not need a “spiritual godfather” in the White House. The phrase makes me think of a grinning Baptist Don Corleone. Pass national health care and a flat tax or get a horse’s head in your bed and a sermon when you complain about it. Anyhow, if you’re voting efenant, there is no caucus after the election, so don’t show up. There’s nothing to accomplish except boring party business.

*If even one person takes this advice and makes the donk precinct chair's night miserable, I can sleep in peace knowing I have done something for humanity today.