Debate Coverage: The World According to John Kerry

I’ve watched and listened to more than a few of the babbling hairdos regarding the debate last night and as T noted, the DNC got their talking points up around 5p yesterday so that everybody would have time to digest and spew. Congratulations to all those “journalists” for their fine memorization skills.

Sure, I wish President Bush came out better in terms of telling Kerry that almost everything that came out of his mouth was either an exaggeration, a distortion, or outright lie; but hey, Bush only had 2 minutes, 1 ½ minutes or 30 seconds respectively to get out what he wanted to say.

From my view, I must admit that the debate last night was very educational for me personally. John Kerry informed me of a lot of things I didn’t know. I have attempted to list some of them here, in no particular order.

First things first: John Kerry fought in Vietnam.

Great Britain, Australia, and Poland, three among our best allies, are not a “grand coalition and not good enough”. Apparently, “we can do better.”

Kerry knows exactly where Osama Bin Laden was and is, and is just not telling us.

“From each according to his means to each according to his needs,” works when it comes to taxes, but if countries who want to help out can’t afford to commit themselves at equal levels to the United States in terms of monetary and troop levels, then their contributions are not good enough.

Kerry has much better plans than President Bush, but is too articulate to tell us what they are. Maybe we’re all just too stupid to understand.

Protecting America requires the passage of a “Global Test”. The verdict is still out on whether this test is written or oral.

Kerry is answering questions regarding specifically what he's going to do when he's telling us everything that Bush is doing wrong.

If you’re not a Western European country, then you don’t deserve for America to fight for your right to democracy, unless the tin-pot despots of the world will meet and give you permission.

We should bribe ("what will it take") the French and Germans to join us in international entanglements they’re monetarily benefiting from (Iraq), but tell them to piss off because we don’t need help when we don’t want them (North Korea).

World summits with miscellaneous despots and other Anti-Americans gets more accomplished for American defense than actually getting on the ground and doing something to defend America.

Kerry’s preferred lipstick color is MAC Cosmetics’ Crème de la Femme. Ooh la la, how French.

We should give nuclear fuel to Iran.

It is Bush’s fault that North Korea didn’t hold up its end of the bargain that Clinton made.

John Kerry has never changed a position in his life.

John Kerry has more experience dealing with world leaders than George W. Bush because he’s been doing it longer. I don’t think however, this is really what Kerry had in mind.

Kerry never used the words “Bush lied", except for twice in New Hampshire in September and December 2003.

George W. Bush misled us to go to war in Iraq, although when asked how specifically, Kerry didn’t seem to know.

There are no WMDs in Iraq, except for the WMDs in Iraq.

John Kerry is very Senatorial; George W. Bush is very presidential.


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