New Year’s Resolutions

So, did anybody make a resolution? I didn’t, I don’t think, unless you count my ongoing resolve to become wealthy enough to buy my own country. Or at least the naming rights to a small one, like maybe Belgium. I think Luxembourg might actually be a better candidate. I get the sense they would be willing to deal for enough cash.

Anyhow, I did have several candidates I was contemplating. “Drink more and care less” has worked well for me in past years, but after Christmas, I don’t think that’s wise. J tells me I puked up 12 aliens and a cabbage very early the morning of the 26th. I did resolve not to let certain unnamed individuals tend bar for me ever again, but I made that resolution later on in the day on the 26th so it isn’t a proper “new year’s” resolution.

After considering all of the usual suspects, I found one I can get behind. Rachel Lucas has resolved to use the word ‘asshat’ more. I think I can do that one. I may have to work my way into it in writing, but it’s definitely doable. I already use the word sometimes in speech, because J tells me it’s rude to refer to people as “inbred syphilitic c***suckers” or “maggot-infested piles of sheep shit”. Who knew? I just figured people got mad because I pointed out their shortcomings in public. Asshat, while still rude, is marginally an improvement.

On the other hand, I may resolve to not worry about it. Eh. I’m already behind in the process, so I may just blow it off until next year.


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