All About Tattooed Sleeves T-Shirts...

On 17 December, Gethky over at the Sampler (via Marinebiogeek) posted the I guess now famous tattooed sleeves shirts. I was surprised when I got my first one almost a year ago how few people had actually ever heard of them. If you're not familiar, you should definitely take a look.

As a person who thinks the real tattooed sleeve is both attractive and artistic, but has a professional career, these shirts are a fun novelty. I have a couple of these shirts, so if you interested, here's everything you ever wanted to know about them, but probably never thought to ask.

First, don't buy them directly from the manufacturer. Sleeves Clothing lists them for $80 a piece, and for even somebody who has a good job, that's just a lot for a damn T-shirt. The cheapest I've found them is at Funrockn, a neat little shop out of New Orleans. They've got them for $59.99, and a lot of other fun products too. (No, I have no affiliation with them.)

Second, know they run small. Sleeves Clothing lists a size chart, but those dumb measurement charts mean absolutely nothing to me. This is the point at which T replies, "that's because they involve numbers." I don't do numbers. THPPPT! Anyway, a safe rule is order 1 size larger than what you would normally buy your T-shirts, if you are used to wearing T-Shirts snug and/or fitted, as is in fashion nowadays.

As for which shirt to choose...I have both the Japanese and the Dermagraphic, and think in terms of creating the best illusion of tattooed sleeves, the Japanese is the way to go. The Dermagraphic shirt is a little too washed out once on the body, and ends up looking worse than old sun exposed tattoos. This will be especially true on any wearer who is not a milky, pale, white honky cracker like myself. The Japanese is a little bolder so it creates the nicer effect when blended onto the skin. I don't have much personal knowledge the tribals except that if you're darker than the aforementioned white honky cracker, the flesh tone of the shirt might not work for you.

So...if you decide to save yourself the $20 and order from Funrockn, let them know in advance that you're aware that they're pre-shrunk and run small, and that you've accounted for that in your order. I'm guessing they've had a lot of returns based on the sizing, and this little step will just speed up your order process and save a lot of correspondence and/or phone calls back in forth.

Now, your shirt has arrived. Here are some other things to know.

Don't wear jewelry while putting the shirt on or removing it. The sleeves are like tights and will tear if picked.

Wash the shirt like you would wash your delicates, either by hand or on delicate cycle in a mesh laundry bag. I am not brave enough to try the dryer.

Don't wear this shirt if you're planning to do anything particularly active or if you're going clothes shopping which would require you to take it on and off a lot. These things aren't sturdy.

And, as my mother used to say to me when I was a kid: "you have to suffer to be beautiful." These shirts are not particularly comfortable. The T-shirt portion is nice and soft, but the sleeves have the texture of very old style (not very stretchy) tights, so they're a little rough on the arms, especially in the bends of your arms. They'll leave some marks and if you have particulary sensitive skin, you might get some redness or itching.

I think that's about everything I know, but if anybody thinks of any other questions, I'll be glad to take a shot at answering them.