Boom

65 years ago today, we unleashed the power of the atom. We remain the only country to have turned our enemies into radioactive ash.

So much for all the post-apocalyptic sci-fi. Piggy's a middle manager at a bank, Heiro is probably taking his ass down to the Quickie Mart for a slushie, Leibowitz toils away dutifully on his military engineering, Vault-Tec went bankrupt back in the 60s, and here we all are.

Doesn't mean it still can't happen, though.

Random Friday Thoughts

Pantera + Thomas Jefferson = Eternally Fucking Hostile?

When the majority of your job consists of using a computer, when the IT department starts jacking with your computer, it seriously cuts down on your productivity for the day.

As punishment for my laziness in not taking down the Christmas lights last weekend, I now have to do it when the temperature is in the low 30s. Yay!

Why do Cat5E jacks cost more if they're blue? Is adding blue dye to the plastic that much more expensive than adding the white dye?

Happy Birthday!

222 and looking good. Now if we just get more people to understand and pay attention, we'd be better off.

Valor

On September 17, 1944 the largest airborne operation in history began: Operation Market Garden. 36,400 troops of the 82d Airborne Division, the 101st Airborne Division, the British 1st Airborne Division, and the Polish 1st Airborne Brigade went into the Netherlands by glider or parachute.

In similar news, SFC Jared Monti was posthumously awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor today for his actions while fighting in Afghanistan.

The Army's most quotable General, George S. Patton, had something to say that seems relevant.

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived.

Moon

Shortly will be the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 landing. There's all kinds of things all over the web, including a stream of everything.

Someday we'll go back.

Ding Dong

So, one each Robert S. McNamara passed away. I'm sure his family will miss him.

Me? Not so much. Burn in hell, Bobby.

Back 4 4

Well, we made it back in time for the 4th. Good thing, because I spent a shitload of money on fireworks in South Carolina. Before I go off to turn money into noise and sparkly lights, I leave you with these words from our forefathers.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Thus began the grandest experiment in government in the history of mankind. I figure it's only appropriate to celebrate the anniversary of our announcement of revolt by blowing things up. So, I"m off to do so.

Non-Interference

So, Leisure Suit Larry who just stole the election in Iran is running around telling everybody who will listen the US is interfering in the electoral process over there. Ahmadinejad apparently doesn't pay attention to his surroundings. It's been a long time since we were any good at the subtle approach. We've pretty much given the whole coup d'etat deal away in favor of a straight up punitive expedition.

In other words, you dumb bastard, when the JDAMs are taking the building down around your ears, we're interfering. Until then, not so much.

Odd

Did you know that a Google search for scary long necked canadian mutant doesn't return any references to Celine Dion in the first 3 pages?

At least not until this page gets indexed, I suppose.

Anyhow, I've been contemplating parallels in history. We currently have an elected President who has decided to subvert the bankruptcy process, long established in law, in order to confer extra-legal favors on his chosen cronies. So does this mean we're right about at the point where Julius Ceasar was appointed perpetual dictator? Or closer to the grant of powers to Octavian by the Senate? I am referring to events which can be considered the end of the Roman Republic and the birth of the Empire.

In any event, we are watching an attempt to change the country from a government of laws to a government of men. More depressingly, it looks like it might work.

San Jacinto

On this day in 1836, the Republic of Texas stomped Santa Anna's army flat. Lesson of the day for would-be military dictators: post guards.

Drink something Texan to celebrate.

All Better Now

Because apologies fix everything, right?

I'm gonna lump Duch in with Bobby McNamara. It's great that you're sorry and you feel bad now that you're an old man. That doesn't do shit for the thousands of people you're responsible for killing. If you're really sorry, do something to make it right. I'm not sure what you do to make things right when your body count is that high, but something would be nice. Moving on with your life and apologizing when hauled into court doesn't strike me as all that much.

Failing that, you could always just suck on a bullet. That works for me, too.

Sun'll Come Out

So, apropos of almost nothing, I note on 20 January 1649 Charles I of England went on trial for treason and other less specified high crimes. Bogarting the weed, maybe? He was executed 10 days later by having his 'ead whacked off in one blow.

In other history, here's an interesting piece on a Republican president who tried to stop a depression by spending all kinds of money and proposing scads of new programs. The parallels are explicit, mentioned, and hopefully will guide the wiser among us to consider treading lightly amidst the current economic troubles.

HAH! I crack myself up sometimes. The government intervention failboat is building up steam to take us off into glorious prosperity amid rainbows and puppies. Right until it sinks and takes what remains of the economy down with it. Hopefully, by then I will be sitting on an even larger pile of guns and ammo and laughing maniacally at the big government types.

I'm also going to take the opportunity for a pre-emptive "told you so". I didn't vote for Obamarama, I don't endorse a single one of his policies I have read about yet, and I don't hold out much hope for anything good to come out of his administration. All you fuckers that voted for him better get used to that phrase, because you'll hear it a lot. Incidentally, here's a handy way to keep score.

While we wait for action on the promises, here's an amusing bludgeoning of Thomas Friedman's new book. It doesn't compare to the rhetorical beatdown Matt Taibbi handed to Friedman last time, but it's still pretty good.

1933 Style, Baby

Today is the official anniversary of the passage of the 21st Amendment and the associated repeal of the 18th Amendment. In a strange twist of fate, the vote by Utah to ratify the amendment made it all legal. Utah is responsible for your being able to legally tie one on tonight. Unless, of course, you are under the age of 21 or happen to live in one of the many existing dry counties. In that case, bootleg you some hooch and tie one on anyway. Don't let the man tell you what to do! Take charge of your own destiny by imbibing large quantities of booze! Tell the nice man down at the liquor store Lou Bega sent you.

I could, if I were inclined, mention the parallels with other substances currently banninated by the feds. However, the bright and astute reader should be able to figure them out fairly quickly. Unless you've been drinking, in which case it might take you a bit longer. Short summary on a Friday afternoon: prohibition doesn't work, mmmkay?

In honor of the occasion, a preferred vendor here at YPS Manor has introduced a commemorative set. On the occasion of Repeal Day, might I suggest a drink or two?

Agent Orange
1 1/2 oz Southern Comfort
1 1/2 oz Jack Daniel's
8 oz orange juice

Mix in a tall glass. Adjust orange juice to taste.

You could also try something simple like a Jack & Coke. Seeing as how it's damned cold around here, (for here, anyway), I feel compelled to suggest something in the way of a hot drink? This one works well, assuming you have some whipped cream.

Coffee Jack
1 oz Jack Daniel's
1 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
Coffee
Whipped Cream

Pour the Jack & Bailey's into a mug. Fill with coffee and garnish with whipped cream.

It actually works okay even if you don't have whipped cream. Of course, you don't have to limit yourself to Jack. I hear bathtub gin was popular during Prohibition, so you might whip yourself up something with gin. Since I don't drink that nasty shit, you're on your own with gin-based comestibles. The prettier, politer, and meaner half of YPS is partial to vodka. A favorite recipe of hers follows.

Vodka Shot
1 1/2 oz Grey Goose, Ketel One, White Gold, or Stolichnaya

Place vodka in freezer. When the consistency resembles Caro syrup, it's time to drink. As J says, "Mixers are for wusses."

If you're feeling a bit less hard, try this.

White Russian
1 1/2 oz Tito's Handmade Vodka
1 1/2 oz Kahlua
Half-and-half or Light cream

Fill cocktail glass with ice. Add Tito's and Kahlua. Fill with light cream and stir to mix.

So have a drink a celebrate your freedom to do so! Or not. Don't let me tell you what to do.

Bruno

Whilst traversing the series of tubes today, I found an article at Salon on Giordano Bruno. Ostensibly a review of a new biography of Bruno, it goes into detail about his life and times. I find the article of some passing interest because of family history. One of the earliest progenitors anyone has been able to trace was an Italian follower of Bruno's who hightailed his ass to England so as to avoid Bruno's fate. Heresy and subversion go way back in the family tree, apparently. Who would have thought?

Get Bombed 3 Times

At the asscrack of dawn today, 63 years ago, the United States government ushered in the dawn of a new era by blowing the ever-loving crap out of a chunk of deserted New Mexico real estate. We understood the power of the atom and used it to turn some sand into radioactive glass. Yay, us.

In the 63 years since then, we have notably managed to not destroy all life on earth as we know it. The genre of post-apocalyptic sci-fi really dates from the Atomic Era, and so far very few of the bleak dystopias imagined have come to pass. Personally, I'm not at all disappointed.

Anyhow, in celebration of the glorious event, here's a drink recipe shamelessly pulled off the internet. I have modified it for easier understanding by non-metric drinkers.

Atomic Bomb

Take a double jigger of good beer.
Place in bottom of pint glass.
Fill remainder of pint glass with Aquavit.
Drink.

If you're a little less prone to drinking pints of mouthwash Aquavit you might try reversing the mix. That strikes me as a wee bit more palatable, but what do I know? Also, you won't end up passed out on the floor after 2 of them.

Musical suggestions to accompany the evening's libation:

Atom Bomb by Fluke
We Will All Go Together When We Go by Tom Lehrer
Atomic by Blondie

Similarly themed music may be substituted at your discretion, but these are what's on the NAS that come immediately to mind.

Now, go drink up and enjoy a Happy Trinity Day.

Ka-Boom

Tunguska!

The 100th anniversary was today. Despite NASA's high-minded nattering, nobody really knows what happened over Siberia back then.

Garry Fucking Owen

On this date in 1876, one each George Armstrong Custer managed to firmly cement his place and the place of the 7th Cavalry in the history books. Unfortunately for him and his men, he did this by getting his command slaughtered by the Lakota and the Cheyenne.

I bet at some point you wished you took them Gatlings, huh, George? Raise a toast for the poor troopers who paid the price for their commander's fuckup. Such is the way of the world.

I Sentence The Corpse To Death!

Any large organization that exists over a long period of time eventually has some bizarre things happen. So without further ado, I present today's fun moment in history: the Cadaver Synod.

Apparently Pope Stephen VI felt the almighty was slacking in his duty to dispense justice to the souls of the deceased. So, he had Pope Formosus dug up and tried. Seems a wee bit presumptuous to me, but I was never a very good Catholic. Maybe the lord delegated this one back to down to the pontiff to handle? I'm a bit confused, but the history of the papacy has lots of odd moments in it that confuse me.

Light A Fire

It's Beltane. Fire something up. Drive the cattle through the need fire to purify them for the coming season or some such pastoral ritual. What do I know from ancient Celtic rituals? Me, I'm gonna do what I always do on festive and non-festive occasions alike: drink beer.

It's also International Workers' Day. I don't recommend blowing up cops or shooting striking workers in celebration, though. While historically accurate, it's frowned upon in most jurisdictions. I'm not sure what one does to celebrate given those limitations. March outside with a gaggle of deluded communists seems to be the default answer for much of the world. However, I live in Texas. March with communists is never the right answer here, even if it were a good idea in the first place. So I think I'll be skipping any celebration of worker solidarity or WTFever in favor of ancient rituals involving fire. Fire, unlike communists, is at least entertaining and useful.

Talk To The (Wooden) Hand & Teeth

Today's theme, as you might have guessed, is wooden prostheses. First up in the wood parts category is George Washington, who according to my sources had wooden teeth. He was sworn in today in 1789 as the first President of the United States. I take it the historical import is not lost on anyone.

Our second wooden man is Captain Jean Danjou. Captain Danjou lost his hand while a young Lieutenant in Algeria. His replacement hand was, unsurprisingly for the time, made of wood. Today in 1863 the formidable Captain and 64 other soldiers of the French Foreign Legion made history by telling 2,000 Mexican soldiers that, no, we won't be surrendering, thankyouverymuch. This probably would have gone down as yet another example of doomed bravado were it not for the fact the frogs spent the rest of the day fighting off the incursions of the Mexican Army, with most of them dying in the process. What forever cemented the reputation of the Legion as hard-asses was the actions of the final troops. Instead of surrendering when out of ammunition, they fixed bayonets and charged. This worked out about as well as you might expect, but the last two standing were given safe passage and allowed to care for their wounded by the Mexican commander. The Legion still celebrates Camerone every year. If you read French, here's the schedule.