Semi-Public Service Announcement

Once again, I feel compelled to make an announcement for the good of some clueless members of society.

Tammy, do you mind if I call you Aunt Tammy? I know you're not my aunt and all, and truthfully, you don't even know who the hell I am. However, I feel I know you and your somewhat dimwitted niece, Kylie. I think I know a little bit about you because Kylie keeps sending me email intended for you. Man, she ships out some glurge, too. You ought to be glad you don't get some of these things. They're so saccharine they make one wanna puke. Anyhow, since we're almost virtually related or something, kindly remind Kylie to include the all-important '5' in the address when sending you emails. Otherwise, I get them and delete them, depriving you of the vitally important forwarded crap you would otherwise receive. Although in this case, it appears you sent this out and Kylie sent it back with no commentary. I'm not sure what that's about. Maybe you could speak to her about it when you remind her of the whole '5' thing. Have her update her Yahoo address book, since the wrong address is in there as well.

Moving right along, Tony, you don't get anything from NetFlix because it goes straight into my spam folder and has ever since customer service at NetFlix was unable to help me resolve the fact that you're an idiot. Although, in retrospect, my suggestion of setting you on fire until you got your email address correct is probably not something customer service at NetFlix is prepared to handle, nor should they be.

Finally, for the sake of your grade point averages, I beseech all you who are students of this fine gentleman to get his email address correct. Do not email me about what squid you dissected in lab or any other questions about marine science. I will answer you, and my knowledge of marine science is close to non-existent. Plus, you will look like a complete jackass when you try to rejoin with "But... but... you said in your email!" and show an email from an engineer in Texas. It also makes you look like a bit of a moron since he puts the correct email on his class handouts and web page.

Finally, for anyone who thinks I'm being unduly harsh in posting this gentle reminder to my blog, I'll just remind you it can get much, much worse.



Post a Comment

<< Home